The title of this post makes it sound like the incident was all fun and games, but believe me it wasn’t.

On Friday night Mom had a headache and decided to take a bubble bath. I was hanging out in the bathroom because the toilet fascinates me and because that’s where I store my hoard of toilet paper rolls.

(If you weren’t aware, toilet paper rolls are probably the greatest cat toy ever invented. I can chase them, put my legs through them, roll around on the floor with them — all kinds of things! I’m sure they’re expensive toys, but Mom and Dad love me so I’ve amassed quite the collection.)

Anyway, Mom was in the bathtub with a book and I was curious about what was so interesting in there, so I jumped onto the side to see. It. was. fascinating.

There were bubbles everywhere! They swirled and bounced and I just had to have one. So I dove in.

As I’m sure you’ve realized, things didn’t go quite how I’d planned. There was water in there. Smelly perfumed water. And bubbles? It turns out that they’re not nearly as fun as they appear to be.

When my head bobbed out of the water, I emitted a sound I’d never heard before. I sound I didn’t even know I could make — sort of a pathetic, cat-like squeal. I frantically splashed and scrambled trying to get myself out of this aquatic nightmare, but while it’s normally easy to leap out of the bathtub, there was something wrong this time. Mom tried to help me, but before she could get her hands around me I’d already figured out another escape plan. I crawled up her back. (Mom made a sound very similar to the one I’d just made.)

Once I’d reached dry land, I slipped and skidded across the tile floor before finding sanctuary behind the toilet. But then Mom dragged me out of there and started wiping me down because apparently the strawberry-scented SpongeBob bubble bath had turned my white fur slightly pink. On top of that humiliation, I then had my photo taken.

Luckily, I was quickly wrapped in towels and allowed to sleep it off. When I woke up, I thought it was surely just a bad dream — then I caught a whiff of my strawberry-scented fur.

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Hi, everyone! I just wanted to say hello and give you a quick update on how I’m doing.

I went to have my stitches taken out last week, but I surprised the vet because I’d already removed them myself. Just call me Dr. Fiver.

Not only are my wounds healing, but my legs are also doing much better. I’m making a remarkable recovery — I can even run around and climb now! I still drag one of my back legs a little, but it’s barely noticeable.

I get into absolutely everything these days — just like any other kitten — and I love exploring my new home. I climb, run, jump, chase, scamper and attack anything that moves (including Mom and Dad).

I’ve also learned that I can squeeze myself into all sorts of exciting places: behind the TV, under the couch and even into motorcycle helmets.

But the best part is that I’m clean!! I’ve been putting in some serious bathing time, and I’ve shocked everyone because no one knew I was naturally this white.

Sorry to leave so soon, but I have a busy evening scheduled. I have to roll around on the carpet, chase a ball, eat my body weight in kitten food, scratch the couch, attack Mom’s hair some more…and other kitten-like things.

Thanks for everything, guys! And keep checking back!

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This is me attacking Mom’s hair.

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Sorry it’s taken me a while to blog, you guys! Things have been kind of crazy here, but here’s what I’ve been up to.

Last weekend I wouldn’t stop licking my wounds and pulling at my stitches, so I had to go back to the vet and get my wounds cleaned — and get this stupid thing on my head. Yes, every time this horrible thing was put on, I made this exact face.

But I’m healing now and scabbing over now, so things are good. And I get my stitches out on Wednesday!

I eat a ridiculous amount, my new litter box is the best toy I’ve ever had (I make a HUGE mess), and I recently acquired a stylish Ikea kitten tent to sleep in.

I’m walking fairly well, but it’s not quite a normal kitten walk. Sometimes I drag my back left leg behind me, other times I’m able to move it OK but my toes curl underneath my paw. Mom says I need kitten physical therapy and tries to get my toes to stay flat…this is annoying. I’m fine doing my own thing.

I hope to have a video and some non-iPhone photos up soon, so stay tuned!

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I got my drain removed today!

It’s liberating not to have a plastic tube sticking out of my abdomen, but now there are two open holes in me that really freak Cody out. I keep trying to investigate my wound and clean myself up a bit, but no one will allow it.

I’m a cat and therefore clean by nature, but I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t filthy! The vet says I have to wait another few weeks before I can get a bath, so I’m trying to get by with just licking my paws clean.

It’s been rough, though. No one is even sure how white my fur actually is because I’m still so dirty — life on the streets will do that to you. Laura asked the vet about cleaning my ears, so the vet tech wiped them out — they were full of motor oil!

In addition to that, my paws and fur are caked in dirt in some places, every time I eat I smear food all over my mouth and chin, and not a day goes by that I don’t step in my food dish or trip into my freshly used litter box. I’m supposed to be graceful by nature, but it’s hard to move around with only three good legs.

Despite Laura’s best efforts, all the warm washcloths in the world won’t get me clean. I need to get all these stitches out so I can take a dip in some kitten bubbles.

I’m doing well besides my lack of hygiene, though. I feel like I’ve been eating my weight in food since I moved in here, but I haven’t managed to gain any weight. (I hope this means I get even more food and treats.) And I’m off my pain meds, so I spend a lot more time wide awake, trying to crawl out of my bed and playfully biting any hands that comes my way.

Last night I also got a new feathery toy, which is just about the most exciting thing ever. When the ceiling fan is on, the feathers move around and I go into kitten frenzy. People say it’s adorable, but that’s because they don’t realize just how fierce I really am.

I hope things are going well for all of you generous people, too. Have a great weekend!

Your furry (filthy) friend,

Fiver

P.S. I know some of you have been asking to see a video of me, so Cody has been doing some filming. It should be up this weekend, so keep checking back!

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The strangest thing happened tonight. I pooped and people cheered. I’m only four weeks old with limited life experience, but I don’t think this is typical human behavior.

I think the elation may have something to do with the fact that I haven’t gone #2 since I was found bleeding in a backyard Sunday night. The ER vet said she suspected I would be incontinent because of my extensive nerve damage, and the next vet said it was also likely.

I’ve been eating at every opportunity since Laura and Cody brought me home, but I had no desire to relieve myself. Cody and Laura Googled “how to make a kitten defecate,” asked fellow cat lovers for advice and did everything from wrap me in warm towels (to promote digestion) to wipe me with a warm wet washcloth (to imitate a mother cat’s tongue).

But today, Laura became incredibly worried — she tends to do that — and called my vet tech, Erica.

Erica said that if it weren’t nerve damage, I may be in too much pain because of my stitches, drain and broken pelvis and instructed Laura to bring me into the vet tomorrow if I still hadn’t gone. She also made a personal request: Call her at work if I went #2 by midnight. (I told you I won those guys over.)

A few hours later, Cody and Laura left me alone after I took my pain medicine and passed out, and when they looked back in 15 minutes later, they found that I’d crawled out of my bed and pooped in the bathtub. I’ve never heard such excitement!

Humans are weird. Here I am, one foot in my own poo, and they’re clapping like I did something impressive instead of something perfectly natural. Come on, people — I just needed some privacy.

Anyway, Laura wiped my feet clean, gave me more delicious canned food and called Erica, who was also thrilled. All in all, it was a good night.

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I’m home!

My surgeons kind of fell in love with me, so I scored all kinds of free stuff: delicious food (chicken liver is tasty), Revolution and a red-and-yellow striped mouse. Let me tell you, this mouse is super fun. Whenever I’m awake enough to play, there’s nothing better than batting at my mouse toy.

I’d love to play all day, but I can’t seem to keep my little eyes open. It’s been a rough few days and these meds they gave me are strong. I just keep zonking out.

My operation went really well. It took a while for things to get started because I was so dehydrated, but they pumped lots of fluids in me. The puncture wounds were cleaned out and stitched up, and a drain has been inserted into my wound. I have to deal with that icky thing until it’s removed on Friday.

My pelvis is still broken, but we’re hoping it’ll heal on its own. It looks like I’ll be on bed rest for a while, which is great in theory, but I sure am restless. I keep trying to pull myself up, which sure is frustrating. My hing legs just don’t work like they used to.

I’ve also learned that I’m about four weeks old and slightly underweight. Honestly, I think this is great news because now I get fed fancy canned food every few hours. I may lack mobility right now, but I sure don’t lack an appetite!

I’m going to go take yet another cat nap now, but I wanted to thank you all yet again. I have a long life ahead of me because of your generosity. Once I perk up a little bit, I’ll be sending all of you some thank-you mail.

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Thank you, thank you, thank you to everyone who has donated to my cause, and special thanks to Robert Rohrer. You’re an amazing person, and we’re so grateful for your help and support. And a big thanks to Holly Roseberry for rallying her kitten-saving troops yesterday!

We’ve reached our surgery goal faster than anyone expected, so we’re no longer accepting donations. After all, Laura and Cody have to make their contribution, too!

I’ll be sure to keep you updated on my recovery, and I look forward to meeting every single one of you.

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I’m alert, hungry and ready to go home this afternoon!

I won’t be allowed to move very much for a few weeks, but at least I get to leave the hospital soon and become the incredibly spoiled kitten I was meant to be.

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I’m out of surgery and doing well. The surgeons found no internal bleeding, and a drain is now in place to help prevent infection in my wound.

I’ve been under anesthesia for a while, but I’ve had some water — I’ve even been purring!

The vet is going to try to get me to eat some food in a little while and see how I do with that. I can’t deny that I had quite the appetite earlier, so I’m rather looking forward to this little experiment.

I’m on antibiotics to help fight infection, and I can’t wait to get home. Word on the street is I’ll no longer be sleeping on an old towel in a Crate & Barrel box.

Visions of cushions and catnip mice are dancing in my head tonight…

Thanks for your hopes, prayers and donations. I’m one lucky kitty.

Fiver.

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